This Is Not Goodbye
by Kira699
Summary: Sara writes the letter, but Gil goes after her. GSR with fairytale ending. Some major Drama and a look at the past for proper perspective. Sam Braun didn't die in BTK2. Just a new idea that came to me, please review.
1. Chapter 1

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Different ending and post Goodbye and Goodluck, Sara didn't leave instead she stayed and tried to cope. Sam Braun survived being shot as well and is now being a good father and friend to everyone.

Chapter 1

Finally Sara had cracked through Hannah West's icy exterior and delivered the cruelest blow of all, that West himself had committed suicide. It was crueler than convicting her of the offence, although now she'd probably plead guilty, Sara didn't care now. The Sidle stamina was gone, she was cracking at the seams as she headed home to Gil. Two years they had been together, he'd even proposed to her and she'd said yes, now she was deep in thought. So deep that she almost ran a red light. '_Slow down Sidle, get home intact then let your thoughts wander.'_

Once home she sat down to write Gil a letter, she decided she'd leave CSI, so she picked up her pen and wrote from the heart.

_Gil, _

_You know I love you. I feel I've loved you forever. __Lately I haven't been feeling very well. Truth be told, I'm tired. Out in the desert, under that car that night, I realized something and I haven't been able to shake it._

Since my father died, I spent almost my entire life with ghosts. We've been like close friends and out there in the desert, it occurred to me, that it was time for me to bury them. I can't do that here. _I'm so sorry._

No matter how hard I try to fight it off, I'm left with a feeling that, I have to go. I have no idea where I'm going, but I know I have to do this. If I don't, I'm afraid I'll self-destruct, and worse, you'll be there to see it happen. Be safe.

Know that I tried very hard to stay. Know that you are my one and only. I will miss you with every beat of my heart. Our life together was the only home I've ever really had. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I love you...I always will.

Goodbye.

She cried as she wrote the letter, knowing this would be the only way out, the only way for her to find herself, as she already had him. She cried as she sealed the letter into an envelope and wrote Gil Grissom lovingly on the front of the envelope. It was done, now all she had to do was empty her locker and leave without anyone noticing. Easier said than done in the lab. She collected all her most valued possessions from her locker, removed her name tag from her vest, throwing her name in with all the trash, then saw him as she was leaving. He was talking to Hodges, but he did deserve one last kiss (Grissom not Hodges you lot sheesh), so she paused in her 'escape' to hold him close and gave him a last kiss that left him speechless and left Hodges dumbfounded and feeling like a third wheel on a two wheel bicycle.

She cut the kiss off, when the need for air became overwhelming, then she turn, her smile dropping from her face and she walked out of the lab crying. She cried in the taxi as she was driven down the strip, cried as she went home to collect her belongings sitting the hall, cried as she said goodbye to Hank, their wonderful boxer dog, and he of course cried with her, he could sense that she was leaving and whined, making her pause.

Judy had given Grissom the letter and as he sat reading it, tears fell from his eyes onto the paper, his love was leaving him, for what? To bury old ghosts, but should she do it alone and would he lose her forever if she did self destruct? He had to find a way to help her, to stop this insane plan of hers, to seriously get away from work and maybe go on that cruise, find herself, himself, themselves and get married, to make a life away from CSI if necessary, he had to take that final step. He decided that if he didn't go now he never would.

"Catherine, can I see you in my office now please, it's urgent."

"Sure Gil, what's wrong," she said as she came in and shut the door, seeing the sad look on his face for the first time, then the dampened letter on his desk.

"Read this first, then I'll tell you what I'm going to do, but I'll need your advice."

As Catherine read, her eyes dropped a few tears as well, the letter sounded so full of love, yet full of pain at the same time, and she knew what Gil had to do, if ever his face would smile again.

"Go after her Gil, do what is necessary for her, and for yourself. If you seriously want to love that girl of yours and marry her, you need to help her with anything she needs to do. Am I making myself clear Gil?"

"The shift would be yours then Catherine, I don't know how long I'll be gone nor even if I'll be coming back. Hopefully we'll both come back, but if not you deserve the promotion anyway, enjoy it and my paperwork."

"Thanks Gil, now go, find her, catch before it's too late. I'll tell the rest of the team and keep them updated if you keep me updated, GO."

Grissom left, his office stayed the same in the hopes he would be coming back but if not then it could all be shipped to where he would make his new life. He hurried to the only home he had ever known with her, praying he wasn't too late, praying that she was still there, just praying and speeding.

He arrived just as the lights went out in his house and Sara emerged to a waiting taxi, this was his last shot, his only shot.

"Sara! Wait! Talk to me first then decide." He needed to get her to just stop long enough for a conversation then take things as they came.

"Gil, you read my letter, wasn't that enough? What more do you want, I can't stay here now, I have to do this, I need time away from Vegas."

"I know honey, but come back inside for a moment," he said dismissing the taxi, "I have a few things I want to say as well in reply to your letter, I just didn't have time to write them down or find any fancy sonnets, so it's just plain, unadulterated Gil Grissom speaking, no quotes."

Sara sighed and watched as he took her luggage back inside, meekly following him, Hank bounding happily that the family were together again although he could still sense the sadness in them both.

"Ok Gil what did you want to say, I still have a flight in 3 hours."

"Sara, when you said yes to my proposal of marriage, you made me the happiest man in the world, now I'll be the saddest if you leave without me." Sara's ears perked up at the last part of his statement. "I'm not saying I don't want you back in the job, hell I'd love that but you have important things to do, also we have a wedding to plan, so if you'll still take me as your husband, let me come with you. Wherever you want or need to go, I want to be there for you, to help you put your ghosts to rest, to help you be happy. We'll just be Gil and Sara, not CSI and Supervisor, not two CSIs, just two normal people on an abnormal quest to find the true path to a happiness long denied us. What do you say?"

"I… I don't know what to say Gil, truth is that letter said that I don't know where I'm going, and it's true, first stop is San Francisco to see my mother, then I had no other plans."

"Well why not go see her together, tell her we are engaged, I'm sure she'd like to meet her prospective son-in-law, then we go wherever you want, be it a cruise, following in the footsteps of Darwin, or living in a cottage by the beach so you can surf every day. What do you think?"

"What about the lab? What about the team? Your job and everything, it's part of you, you can't just stop Gil, I don't want you hating me in later years because I took you away from your job."

"I can always go back eventually, or go into teaching again, I'm always getting requests. Catherine knows where I am, she has the team, and I'll never hate you, I think I was getting too old for that anyway. We are going to work out your problems first, then mine, get married have a nice honeymoon, then rethink everything if you like."

"I never thought you'd leave your job for me Gil, it only took you eight years, but yes, let's do it together, slowly. I did only put in for an initial 6 months leave anyway, sorry you didn't see it, it went straight to Ecklie."

Sara and Gil spent the night together in their own home, with Hank at the foot of the bed, paws over his ears as his mom and dad spent the hours writhing and moaning in pleasure and the wild ecstacy of unbridled sexual experience.

Grissom's phone rang early that morning and was startled to find that it was Catherine.

"What's up Cath? Having problems already?"

"No Gil, Ecklie just found out about the two of you having 6 months off at the same time, he's not happy. He heard about Sara's hasty departure and is ready to fire her ass if she isn't by next shift since she didn't wait for him to ok her leave and he hasn't, as for you, you have to come in again to fill out the application. Sorry to do this to you both."


	2. Chapter 2

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Different ending and post Goodbye and Goodluck, Sara didn't leave instead she stayed and tried to cope. Sam Braun survived being shot as well and is now being a good father and friend to everyone.

Leave, quit or stay, that is the question.

Chapter 2

"No worries Cath, I'll come and chew Ecklie a new one, he won't fire me because he'd lose me to another lab, Sara too, and the Sherriff would kill him."

Grissom walked back into the bedroom and sat down next to Sara, she instinctively knew something was amiss and tensed herself for disappointment.

"Ok Gil, spill it, who was on the phone and what did they want."

"It's Ecklie, that was Cath on the phone, seems that Ecklie didn't approve your leave of absence and won't approve mine so we're both going into the lab and sort this thing out, if he doesn't grant it then I'm resigning on the spot. Ok with you honey?"

"Oh yeah, let's go rip Ecklie a new one, at worst he'll fire me, at best he'll approve the leaves, he doesn't have the balls to stand up to the Sherriff."

Poor Conrad Ecklie, he had played politics with Catherine and thought he had won, in a way he had, but all he had won was the first skirmish in a war that could break his career in half. He was about to go one on one with a genius at mental chess, the one thing he didn't want to do. Then what he heard next was his worst nightmare come true.

"CONRAD ECKLIE! Get your ass up out of your seat when a lady enters the room."

"Grissom, Sidle, nice to see you turned up for work at last, I knew letting Catherine play the politics with you would work."

"Yeah, it worked too well. Sara requested a leave of absence and you haven't approved it, why not?"

"We can't spare her Grissom, we need everyone we have on this new serial case, including Sidle."

"And what about my leave of absence then Conrad?"

"Can't spare either of you right now, can it wait one week, then I'll happily approve them both, and before you say it Gil, no you won't need to quit on me, either of you, all I'm asking is one week, then I'll give you a year off if necessary. Agreed?"

Conrad walked out of his office to let them discuss things between themselves, he really hoped that they'd stay the week, then he could approve their leaves.

"What do you think Sara? Stay the week or quit and leave now? Granted he did say he'd even give us both a year off if we asked for it, we could do a lot in a year."

"I don't know if I can handle it Gil, but I'll give it a shot for a week if it means a year away with you, even six months would be good, and it wouldn't be fair to the team if they were two short chasing after a serial killer."

"Spoken like a true CSI and family member, ok we do the week, then on Saturday we fly out to California, something to look forward to and to plan for."

"Alright Conrad, one week, then on Saturday we are gone, no rethinking this deal, unless you want an entire grave shift barking at your door."

"A deal is a deal Grissom, see Catherine and she'll bring you up to speed, this guy is nasty and we need to get him quickly."

They walked out and Catherine met them in the layout room with the latest pictures then briefed them both after apologizing for being a pawn in Ecklie's game.

"This guy seriously hates women, never seen anything like it before, from what we found it appears that once he kidnaps them, ties them up in a particular way with a rope around the neck. Any struggling tightens the rope and they strangle themselves to death. He rapes them at some stage then performs the perfect autopsy on them, he'd even give Doc a run for his money. We found the organs in glass jars next to the bodies."

Looking at the pictures Sara focused intently on them while she listened then ran out of the room to throw up in the toilet. She found it odd that photographs should do that as there was no smell nor stimulus for it, she must be closer to breaking than she thought. Grissom came after her, his face awash with concern.

"You want to leave honey?"

"No Gil, we made a deal, and this has never happened before, I need to see those pictures again, I think it might have triggered something, something I might have missed before."

"Missed before Sara? Missed from where?"

"That's just it, I can't remember but it is so familiar, look I need to show you something, you've seen it before but I never realized until now what was so significant about it."

They both went into Grissom's old office where Sara removed her shirt, lifted her tank above the hip line and lowered her jeans to reveal an old scar with a weird shape to it, like a tattoo of the clock face without hands. Gil had noticed it before but hadn't thought anything of it until now. Quickly he got a camera and snapped a few shots of it before Sara got dressed again.

"Ok let's go down to the morgue and see if any of the girls have the same mark, and yes before you ask Sara, I do want to know, as will everyone else, but first we have to confirm this mark, then we'll discuss it ok?"

Once in the morgue, Doc Robbins opened up the drawers and took out the victims of this serial killer and checked the base of the spine for markings. They were there on each victim, barely visible but freshly made, each one identical to the one on Sara. Now they had a problem, as Sara couldn't remember how she got hers. She had a week to figure it all out, provided she didn't break down first, perhaps that's why she couldn't remember it.

"Grissom I need to do some checking with the lab in San Francisco, to see if anything like this has turned up before. I could have been a victim and closed off the memory but it would be on file, however you'd need to request it. Can you do that for us, and for the case, it could probably help."

"I have an idea Sara, you may not approve very much but according to the letter you wrote you did a lot of thinking in the desert. We are going for a drive, and we are going ghost hunting."

Sara was dubious at first when he mentioned the drive and the desert in the same phrase, she was truly horrified when she saw where he was going and where they ended up, all that was missing was a red mustang.

"We are having a picnic here Sara, and have some time for you to think clearly without distraction, just let your mind wander and we'll see what happens. There are some pretty white clouds up there, and some blacker ones rolling in so there maybe a storm tonight."

Sara lost her mind in his words and reflected back on her night and day in the desert, the pain, the chill of the wind and water, the intense heat of a day in the sun, counting, always counting, until her memory ceased and everything went black. She didn't feel any more pain, no sunburn, no terror, no Roger Meadows. '_Wait, where did that name come from, he wasn't in the desert but I do remember his ring.'_

"Gil, his name is Roger Meadows and he had this huge signet ring, I know I was terrified of him but I can't place where or when."

"The place isn't as important as the name right now Sara, we'll figure all this out but right now I think it's time that we head back and see if the others have anything."

They drove back to Vegas in silence, Sara still trying to concentrate on this new development and Gil thinking of all the checks he had to make on this name. He knew that this could seriously damage Sara further if they didn't get to the bottom of the subject and deal with it.

Back in the lab Grissom learned that another dead girl had been found, dead due to the serial killer, same mark on the base of her spine only this time it was slightly different, she hadn't strangled herself to death like the others, the killer had performed a live autopsy on her as she was struggling to breathe and she eventually bled out. It was a nasty way to die.

Grissom's request to San Francisco paid off, the killer had struck there about ten years ago, leaving five victims in his wake, four dead and one alive, the live one now resided in Las Vegas, a person named Sara Sidle. Sara had been lucky indeed even though the case notes were sketchy it seemed apparent that his surviving victim had escaped before being properly restrained, damaged his ego and his killer reputation, the only person who knew who he was. That worried Grissom more than anything.

**Roger Meadows POV**

The little bitch escaped me in San Francisco and now she lives happily in Vegas, well her happiness is about to end, maybe she won't remember me but I remember her and if I hadn't been so careless I would have had her bound and struggling on the floor, trying to live, trying not to strangle herself in her struggles, then to perform an autopsy on that beautiful body of hers, to hold her heart in my hands, literally. Soon Sara, soon I will come for you and make your heart mine, enjoy watching your last breaths as you kill yourself. It won't be long now my Sara, just like all my other loves, you will join them in death.

**A/N I guess Sara and Grissom will be a while yet in Vegas**. **But what is in store next for them?**

**TBC**

**I hope you are enjoying this story, reviews are appreciated. **


	3. Chapter 3

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Different ending and post Goodbye and Goodluck, Sara didn't leave instead she stayed and tried to cope. Sam Braun survived being shot as well and is now being a good father and friend to everyone.

Thanks to Moochiecat for pointing out my 'overstuffing and too fast pace' I'll try to rectify that, but for now a little bit of angst and action, along with a few realizations. Please bear with me on this, it does really get better and GSR does really come to the fore.

Now for a little Ghost Hunting…who ya gonna call….Grissom who else!

Chapter 3

**Back to the lab**

Catherine walked in to Grissom's office with a huge file marked SFPD, all the information having just been faxed through. She had scanned it and was horrified at what she saw, Sara's name on the victim listing. Sara had known who was responsible yet had said nothing initially, why was that? Was she covering for a serial killer?

"Grissom, I want some answers to some important questions I have regarding this file."

"I figured you would Catherine, I'll answer what I can."

"Why didn't Sara tell us about this earlier, she knows who did it, is she trying to cover up for this guy?" Catherine spat the words with a kind of venom in them.

"Catherine that is enough of that kind of talk, you know better than that, Sara remembered the mark on her spine, everything else was blank. Look sit down for a minute, I have to show you something, it's a kind of clarity she had when out in the desert, you read the letter but read it again, then I'll tell you the rest."

Catherine sat down and read the letter that Sara had written him, she had already read it once so only scanned it again, pausing on a few relevant passages, and her face paled.

"He was one of the ghosts?"

"Yes, he was and still is, we drove out to the desert yesterday, to the site where she was left, and we sat and talked, watched the clouds and let her mind wander and his name leapt into her mind, nothing else just his name, she can't remember where or when."

"Oh god Gil, what if he's really just using these dead girls as a way of attracting her attention, she is the only one who can place him, the only witness. She's next isn't she?"

"I hate to admit it but it would seem likely and there is nothing we can do about it, we have the rest of the week to find him, then we are gone, and if we are gone he will follow, so we have to catch this guy quickly, or else we'll have to stay and it would break Sara, she'll simply up and leave and we'll never find her again, but he would."

"Nick is running this guy's name through every database in the country, even the classified ones, until we get a hit, we need a face to start with. I need an inside connection though Cath, someone outside LVPD who can 'look' for things surreptitiously without a warrant. Do you think your father might know someone like that, I wouldn't ask but this involves lives and I dare say the Sherriff wouldn't mind having Sam Braun in his corner at the next election."

"I'll ask dear dad and see what he can do, strictly off the record Gil, but yeah we'll get him."

Finally they had a face to match the name, pulled from DMV records in California, they then ran that against all medical students that attended Berkeley same time as Sara, Roger Meadows had studied medicine there only hadn't quite qualified as a medical practitioner. He had used his new skills to further his own agenda, whatever that may be. He had become a well educated and skilled serial killer. This turn of events didn't stop Nick in his relentless search for clues so he kept cross checking until they came upon a startling discovery regarding the Vegas victims. The victims in Las Vegas so far recovered all lived at addresses that kept getting marginally closer to Sara's apartment, regardless of the fact that she lived with Grissom now. This appeared to be a proper pattern and the only way to really make sure was to try a predict his next stop. If the pattern held then the next victim should be in the vicinity of…

Nick shot bolt upright when he pinpointed the approximate location of the next victim, he hoped to hell he'd made a mistake.

This guy left no trace at any crime scene, there was no evidence to support even a warrant let alone an arrest or charge, only Sara could identify him and slowly he was edging closer to her.

The much dreaded next call came in , Nick's prediction came true, another victim found, and it was a serious shock for the entire team, Sara had sub let her apartment to another woman, and she had become the next victim. Bound and strangled in the usual way, raped and autopsied only this time there was one small difference. He had left a calling card. A note written in his victim's blood. '_You shall be mine again Sara'_ each word seemingly started off with anger and hatred and seemingly leapt off the page at her.

This was going from bad to worse, now it was made crystal clear that Sara was his target, just when she was getting ready to leave and get her life back together with Grissom. Now to get a location on this guy, the other alternative was not a nice one and too horrific to contemplate. Sara as bait would be the last act of a desperate police department. But it could very well come down to that.

Grissom could see the toll this case was taking on Sara, especially after Hannah West, and all he could do was be there for her, to hold her tight, assuage her fears and at night help her sleep away her nightmares. She was so close to the edge that she almost felt herself falling off it. Deep down inside she knew she couldn't run away from this, it would only follow her, so she had to stay and see it through.

Using the map of Las Vegas, they overlaid all the serial killings, the last one being at Sara's old apartment, marking the incremental mileages between them. To get to Grissom's place there were two more increments required, unless he cut straight to the chase. They could virtually pinpoint his next strike, however to be sure they did a comparison with the map of San Francisco and the increments there as well. It was the same pattern, ceasing at Berkeley and Sara, so now they had a lead on where their next victim could be, but could they get there first?

-/-

The next point on the map, according to every similarity and proposed outcomes, was an apartment block a mile and a half from the Grissom townhouse, most of the residents there were old aged pensioners or young batchelors seeking employment in the casinos and bars. Only two apartments belonged to single, young women. Roger Meadows moved stealthily through the halls, his best guesstimate was the ground floor and a pretty young brunette, Emma Lewis, who was not that dissimilar to Sara in many ways.

He had his briefcase containing his instruments and other tools of his deadly game, in his hand as he knocked on the door. In his favor he was good looking and still retained his youthful face, and the young lady opened the door with a smile that quickly changed once she found out who he was. He was promoting a new range of beauty products for his company, perfume to be exact, at least that was his entry line. All pretty young women like to be first when it comes to new ranges of perfume, to be the first to have something special.

He had opened a few bottles for her to smell, to try on her skin, some she liked, some she ordered and others she didn't like at all. The last bottle was beautifully packaged, it was the company specialty, supposedly. He carefully uncorked the bottle and held it out to her, she took a deep inhalation of the perfume and felt the cloying smell invading her senses, making her dizzy. Each breath she took she smelt more of it until he corked the bottle and quickly lowered her face first to the floor and reaching into his case, brought out some rough hemp fibre rope to bind her wrists high up behind her back, crossing them as he did so. It was a painful and uncomfortable position made worse with a rope going from her wrists to up and tied off around her neck. Now he took his time and stripped her lower body, ripped her blouse open and undid her bra, his trousers bulging with his erection, straining to be in its natural habitat. She was slowly coming to her senses once more and to her horror he was lying on top of her, kissing her and now his rock hard cock was penetrating and violating her so roughly that she was bleeding from the act.

She was crying in distress, trying to struggle away from this maniac as he penetrated her again and again until she passed out from the pain. Once he was sated, he washed himself off and then got ready to finish her off. One long piece of rope secured her ankles tightly together then he pulled her bound ankles tightly up until they almost met her wrists then secured the rope to her bound wrists. He waited to see the look of terror in her eyes as her strength failed her and she tired, her feet would pull down on her wrists, pulling down on the neck rope and she would strangle to death. He sat and waited, waited for her pretty eyes to open and realize the truth.

Her eyes did open, and she tried to move, tried to scream, no voice came out, little air getting in, the rope tightened itself around her neck and would not loosen when the pressure came off, only get tighter and tighter. She was dying, and all she could see was him and that ring he wore, which he then pressed hard into her spine. It ended quickly after that, a final spasm, a death rattle and her pain was over. Roger could get to the final stage now.

Except for one thing, he heard sirens coming closer, and ever closer, it seems that they had cracked the devious but simple code of his. Hastily he wrote a note before departing, climbed onto the fire escape and disappeared into the night.

**A/N Missed him again however he shall be gotten, but at what or who will pay the price?**

**Hang in there it seriously does get better, honest. Would I lie to you? **

**Amidst the flood waters here all over Australia, please spare a thought to the plight of those who have lost everything.**

**TBC**

**I hope you are enjoying this story, reviews are appreciated. **


	4. Chapter 4

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Different ending and post Goodbye and Goodluck, Sara didn't leave instead she stayed and tried to cope. Sam Braun survived being shot as well and is now being a good father and friend to everyone.

Thanks to Moochiecat for the advice on my 'errors', I hope this chapter reads a bit better.

The stage is set, and the actors take their places. Now the drama unfolds.

Chapter 4

"Hell Jim, we were too late, he couldn't quite finish the job but did manage to kill her, notice the mixture of what smells like perfume in here? No woman would wear so many conflicting scents like that unless she was trying them on. So maybe he's masquerading as a perfume salesman, gets all the women to open up for him, and men wouldn't go near the stuff."

"Grissom, he left a note again, in ink this time." _'Next time it's you my dear Sara, and we'll finish our little talk we started in Berkeley, you won't escape me twice my precious bitch._'

"Christ Jim, Sara is his next target, and he's aiming to finish what he started back at Berkeley. The map shows clearly that she is next so there is only one option left and I most sincerely hate it."

"Grissom, this is our only chance to catch him, he won't deviate from his plan. We'll just have to be inside well prior to the attempt. And I don't mean living in your house, you are out as of now, you and Hank are moving out. Sara is staying there alone, but with two of my officers in the attic, two others in the basement, you can even choose who they are."

"I'll take Sofia, Vartann, Catherine and Mitchell. They are people I'd trust with Sara's life more than anyone apart from you Jim."

"Ok then, I'll have them mustered in your office in half an hour, you need to brief Sara and she can sit in on the discussion."

Grissom wondered if life now could get any worse, well yes it could but he had to avert that. Using a stand in wouldn't work, he would simply leave and although they knew everything, they had no hard evidence against him that would sustain a murder charge. They needed him, his tools and him committing the act for anything to count.

Once everyone was assembled in Grissom's office, they began the briefing. Gil was looking at Sara the whole time, searching for any sign that she wouldn't or couldn't do this.

"Now this is how it's going to happen, enough food and drink, non alcoholic of course, will be supplied to keep you fed for two weeks. Sofia and Catherine will be paired together in the basement, Vartann and Mitchell in the attic, using radios for communication, all phones to be set on vibrate only apart from Sara's phone. Sara will recognize him, and it may not be as straight forward as the first time, he won't only want to gain entry, but probably by force.

Let him in Sara, do what he says exactly and don't fight him. If he wants you to leave the house though, refuse. This might be the hardest thing you've ever had to do honey, but part of his enjoyment comes from the initial restraint, just stay calm, you'll have back up in the house with you. Any questions?"

Sara shivered, she really didn't want to go down this road again but this guy had to be caught red handed, she only hoped they'd stop him before he'd rape her or worse, kill her.

Mitchell put up his hand to ask a question, one they all wanted to ask.

"How will we know when it's time to come out and catch him, according to every other crime he's committed, none of the girls screamed or cried out."

"Sofia and Catherine that's up to you two, and please no perfumes or lotions for any of you, he mustn't smell you at all. Sofia I want you to sneak out after he arrives and watch for his first move, if he decides to operated differently then take him out. Stealth is the aim here people, stealth and Sara's safety. Anything you'd like to add Sara?"

"Can I opt out of this now Gil?" A troubled Sidle smirk appeared on her face.

"Sorry honey, you know this has to be done, unless you want him following you forever."

"I know Gil, pity we can't have Hank in the house but these four are great choices, just please guys, don't be late, Gil would never forgive you."

Sara decided not to tell everyone how terrified she really was, and that what this madman had in mind could go seriously wrong, she hated being seen as weak or helpless.

Roger Meadows time frame was fluctuating, his initial kills were at least a week apart, but these last two were both within days, so he could strike immediately or decide to wait for a time.

It was time to set the stage, sleeping bags were set up in the basement and attic, talk was kept to a minimum, blinds drawn on the windows and the doors and windows locked and checked. Now the first shift slept while the second shift stayed awake and alert, Catherine and Vartann were that shift. Things then began to happen as predicted.

"Catherine," Vartann spoke into his radio, " suspect approaching the front door, briefcase in hand, can't see if he's armed or not, over."

"Copy that Lou, I'll wake Sofia, out."

They all heard the doorbell ring, a serial killer with manners, and Sara went to check him out through the peep hole, but Grissom's door didn't have a peep hole. _'Dammit Gil Grissom._'

She opened the door cautiously only to find herself staring at a gun barrel, she froze.

"Hello again Sara, did you miss me? I guess not. Oh don't mind the gun, it's only another of my tools. Now firstly I want you to know that running away from me doesn't work."

"Roger, you were going to kill me just like those other women. I thought I was rid of you finally."

"Oh Sara, my precious Sara, you had it all wrong, I loved you, you were to be my masterpiece, after the practice I had, you were to be the perfection of my craft."

"Sorry to spoil your fun Roger, I didn't want to die back then, and I don't particularly want to die now either, but since you have the gun and I'm the only eyewitness, I can guess what's coming. So if you want to shoot me, go ahead then."

Roger's rage was building up inside him, he was going to make her see, she knew all about him so she now had to die but she would be his work of art.

" I told you that you are my masterpiece, artistry won't escape me tonight Sara, now do exactly as I say and lie face down on the floor, and maybe I won't shoot bits of you off."

Sara hesitated, deciding he probably wouldn't shoot her, but a gun barrel pressed hard into the back of the neck is a good persuader. Using one hand on the gun, his other grabbed one wrist and twisted it up behind her, forcing her forwards and downwards until she lay flat on the floor. He then grabbed her other wrist and pulled it behind her, dropping the gun on the floor as he did so.

"You don't have to do this Roger, you've proven how good you are. Do you have to continue the killing?"

"Not when I'm done with you Sara, then I can stop if I wish. A master craftsman must know when to finish work, when he's reached his peak performance. That will be tonight."

Roger had her place her wrists crossed high up behind her back, as he had done many times previously, binding them tightly then looping the rope tight around her neck twice.

"It's uncomfortable isn't it Sara, gets harder when you relax, you need to keep those wrists up high, now I'll get you up to sit you on your ankles. Seriously I had never entertained the thought of raping you, you were just too perfect to do that."

"You are sick Roger."

Roger tied her ankles tightly and pulled the rope up firmly to her wrists and tied it off.

"Now you can see how it works Sara, you can still breathe like that, but it doesn't take much to stop all that."

"You are no artist, just another lowlife, a psycho, you despicable piece of gutter crap."

Sofia had been listening as instructed and watching, seeing Sara bound like that made her sick to her stomach and she motioned for Catherine to notify the guys upstairs. One wrong move and Sara would fall over and start strangling to death, she was working hard to breathe now, they had to work quickly. She could see Sara's eyes and saw the sheer naked terror in them, there was no way Sara could help herself.

They didn't work quickly enough, after Sara's last remark Roger took serious offence and kicked her in the ribs and she fell onto her side, all the ropes pulling tight on her neck and choking her. Then he simply sat down, picked up his gun and watched her die.

Sofia came out with her gun raised, daring him to use his. She wasn't disappointed, he raised his and fired at Sofia just as Vartann lined up Roger and fired. The shot was straight into Roger's head, killing him instantly.

After seeing Roger fall, Catherine raced to Sara, trying desperately to loosen the ropes. Sara was trying to scream, only a whisper came out, "help me Cath, please."

**SARA'S POV**

Now I knew how he worked, I knew all too well, I escaped him the first time, can I do so a second time? Admittedly I have back up but the way he's tied me, it's already hard to breathe. The strain from wrists to neck is bad, it wouldn't take much for me to lose my balance then my ankles will pull down on my wrists and my neck. Of course my big mouth got me into trouble again and he's just kicked me in the ribs, and oh crap I'm falling. I can't breathe, I can barely whisper, Cath help me please, I'm dying. Gunshots? Cath is screaming, I can't see anything anymore, everything is black, they say the brain still works for a while after death, so am I dead? I can feel the pressure being released, but I still can't see anything, and I'm not breathing. Ok someone's breathing for me, Cath? This is weird, kinda wish it were Gil. I guess I must be dead then, I can't hear anything now, can't feel anything either, there is just nothing.

**BACK TO THE PRESENT**

Catherine was screaming for a knife, the knots on the rope were pulled too tightly to undo and Sara had very little time left, her eyes full of fear and her lips taking on a bluish tinge. A boxcutter from Catherine's kit was retrieved by Vartann and the rope from Sara's wrist to neck was cut first, then her wrists freed and finally her ankles. Had they been in time?

Sara had stopped breathing, her eyes closed now as if to shut out the terror she felt. Not one single breath remained and Catherine began emergency CPR, getting air into Sara the only way she knew how.

"Come on Sara, breathe girl, BREATHE DAMMIT. Lou call an ambulance. I can't get her breathing again."

**A/N CLIFFIE? Hehehe, well ok. To die or not to die, that is the question, opinions anyone?**

**Hang in there it seriously does get better, honest. Would I lie to you? **

**TBC**

**I hope you are enjoying this story, reviews are appreciated. **


	5. Chapter 5

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Different ending and post Goodbye and Goodluck, Sara didn't leave instead she stayed and tried to cope. Sam Braun survived being shot as well and is now being a good father and friend to everyone.

Thanks to all my reviewers, really appreciated.

Now on with the story and how I think things should have gone (after the fic drama anyway)

Chapter 5

While Catherine was desperately working on Sara, Vartann called an ambulance then helped Catherine with the CPR and Mitchell had noticed that one person was missing, Sofia.

Sofia had been standing in the line of fire when Roger Meadows pulled his trigger, now she found herself flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling wondering what the hell had happened and where the pain was coming from. Mitchell found her behind the coffee table, blood oozing out of a gunshot wound to the chest and hurriedly took off his shirt and used it as a compress to staunch the bleeding, only to hear Sofia's sarcastic remark. "I hope that was a clean shirt Larry."

It made him smile and he nodded his head. "There is an ambulance on the way Sofia, just hang in there for while ok? At least it missed your heart."

Sofia couldn't help but try to laugh and coughed up blood which was not a good sign, she was bleeding internally.

Catherine had succeeded in getting Sara to breathe again but her breaths were slow and painful, she needed 100% oxygen now, not just air. She was just regaining some semblance of consciousness, although everything around was decidedly fuzzy, both in sight and sound. It appeared she had tracheal and arterial damage which would probably impact on her mental faculties for a while. Catherine was crying with relief as she supported Sara, neither aware of Sofia's plight until Mitchell yelled for paramedics. They prioritized things correctly.

"Start CSI Sidle on 100% oxygen, and transport Detective Curtis to hospital stat, send another ambulance for CSI Sidle." Sara silently agreed even thought she hadn't seen Sofia take a bullet, but she knew that everyone had been there for her, and her need was only for air, not surgery.

The paramedics also checked out Roger Meadows, he was definitely dead. Sofia was whisked away at speed to the hospital, flat lining twice on the way, rushed into ER and then into surgery where a long vigil began in earnest in the waiting room.

Sara arrived in the second ambulance, her breathing still irregular and labored, and had to undergo scans on her neck and rib x rays to assess any possible damage.

Grissom couldn't reach the hospital fast enough, followed by the team and all of Sofia's friends and family. During all this Sara came to an abrupt realization that leant a clarity to her future decisions, her family was here in Vegas, people who put their lives on the line for her, to protect her, to bother and care whether she lived or died. She owed them a lot, if not an explanation for the future. Her mind was partly made up already, she was so close to burning out, needing to bury her ghosts, now one was buried. Her friends helped her to bury him. She needed to talk to Gil.

"Family of Sara Sidle please?" announced a nurse.

"I'm Gil Grissom her fiancé and only family right now."

"She'd like to see you Sir, she said it was important."

Grissom strode into Sara's room and saw her sitting up in bed with a bandage around her neck from where the rope had bitten into the skin.

"Sara, is anything wrong honey?"

Sara's vocal chords had been damaged and she could only manage a hoarse whisper.

"Gil, I was so scared, he could have killed me even with back up there. I felt as though I had died for a while. It's time to get thing going right for a change. I came to a decision that I wanted to discuss with you, and we both have to agree on this." The more she talked, the more it hurt, but talk she did.

"Sure honey anything."

"I learnt something today, I have friends to help me bury my ghosts, it wouldn't be fair to them if we just up and left with no explanation. And it's not only that but I want my wedding to be attended by my family and friends, and that means the team. I would like your honest opinion Gil."

"I agree with you, but how about we inform the team, go away for a few months, come back and get married here, and let Catherine organize it."

"Ok but one question, who would you have as your best man, or do we both have to fight over Jim?"

"I think perhaps Jim would get a bigger kick out of giving you away, than being my best man honey. Actually I was going to ask Warrick to be my best man, he's my success story over these years and he has listened well. Right now Sara, you have to get well. I know you, you'll want out of here yesterday if you had that option, but your neck sustained damage that rest and constant care has to treat. You had Catherine screaming at you. I know that's not awfully new, but this time you listened to her. I don't know if the doctor has informed you of everything yet."

"What are you saying to me Gil, I'm fine, just a little tired that's all."

"Sara, you were dead for ten minutes, the only reason you are alive is because Catherine and Lou kept you alive through CPR. Your neck arteries were crushed, your trachea and voice box badly damaged, only time will tell if they bounce back, and one rib is broken."

Sara's brave and happy face broke down into a sobbing, sad face that to Grissom said everything. Sure they'd have six months off, but when could they leave, Sara had to stay and be monitored for another week. As yet she hadn't heard any news of Sofia either.

"Gil how's Sofia doing, I haven't heard anything at all."

"She's still in surgery Sara, it's been five hours now and still no news but I promise I'll be the first to let you know. Now are you up to some more visitors? The guys would like to see you."

"Is Cath here, I'd like a private word with her if you don't mind, after all she has a wedding to plan."

"On one condition, you speak less, you know the doctor advised against you speaking."

"Oh alright, just send her in please Gil."

Grissom did as instructed and left the two ladies to talk quietly. There was a distinct hint that the old Sara was coming back to him, and who knows, after six months away she could be a lot happier as well.

"How are you feeling Sara, you gave us quite a scare back there."

"Ten minutes Cath? You worked on me for ten minutes? How can I ever thank you enough?"

"Let me plan your wedding sweetheart, I know just the setting for it."

Sara couldn't help herself, she laughed and winced with the pain it caused.

"Cath I asked you in here for two reasons, the first being to thank you. The second was to ask you exactly that. Would you mind planning our wedding? There was another reason as well, you see I wrote Gil a letter a while back to say I was leaving, but not where I was going, consequently he is coming with me. Six months away together to find myself and ourselves, then coming back to get married, because I realized something important today. It took a serial killer to point it out to me. All of my friends and family are right here, I just need some time away to find the real me, to leave you guys out in the cold isn't fair and simply isn't right."

"I can see a lot of thinking has been going on in there Sidle, but yes I had seen the letter, Gil showed it to me after you left, he was ready to leap tall buildings with a single bound to reach you, but needed some womanly advice. Lovely letter though."

"I understand, it wasn't like I wanted to leave, I simply couldn't breathe properly in the current atmosphere. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of death and destruction. I was burning out quickly Cath, and it was my only option, but I never meant to hurt anyone."

**A/N Tame but GSR to follow and for what it's worth, it's how I would have written it in after Goodbye and Goodluck.**

**TBC**

**I hope you are enjoying this story, reviews are appreciated. **


	6. Chapter 6

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Different ending and post Goodbye and Goodluck, Sara didn't leave instead she stayed and tried to cope. Sam Braun survived being shot as well and is now being a good father and friend to everyone.

Thanks to all my reviewers, really appreciated.

Chapter 6

"We've all been there Sara, but it just hit you harder than the rest, Nick is still having problems. When you come back I hope you feel a bit better, oh yes now I have to get you two a honeymoon package and I know just the spot. Now you rest, stop talking and get better quickly, I have some calls to make and a wedding to plan, you'll wear white I presume?"

"Of course, what did you expect? One more thing, which might be a pain in the ass to everyone, or it could save ours. Send Ecklie an invitation to the wedding, he might not come but at least he can't say we didn't invite him. It may also be a gauge as to whether we can continue working together."

"Trust me and photoshop, just give me your dress and shoe size and run away and have fun, I'll work with Gil on his sizing. This will be fun."

"Oh and Cath one more thing. Would you be my maid of honor please and if she's up to it, Sofia as bridesmaid?"

"Thank you sweetie, I'd be honoured. Now you rest I have work to do and some calls to make, see you tomorrow."

Sara smiled as she left, she'd never seen Catherine look so happy and she knew she'd made the perfect choice for a wedding planner. Who better than a CSI to plan a wedding and not overlook any details.

Next up came the guys, Greg, Nick and Warrick all fighting to get in the door first. It was like watching an episode of the Three Stooges, all three stuck in the door frame.

"One at a time guys and you'll all fit, some CSIs you are, can't even walk into a room properly."

"You don't look too bad for an ex corpse Sidle," Warrick remarked with a wide grin on his face.

"Yeah, very life like, can you handle some fresh veggie soup, not hospital muck."

"Gimme Greg or else Grissom is going to steal your stash, only he and I know where it is apart from you."

"Damn girl, crippled in hospital and she still makes blackmail into an artform."

"You know it Nick, I may as well tell you now, Gil and I are both going away for six months. I nearly left you in the lurch a few days back but I've changed my mind. I now know what is wrong, how to fix it and for any other details you'll have to ask Catherine. Let's just say she's in planning mode."

Warrick let out a WOW closely followed by consecutive WOWs from the others as they realized what the 'planning' meant.

"I have to stop talking guys, doctors orders and I am tired, thanks for coming in to see me, it means more than you'll ever know."

They all gave her a gentle hug and departed so that Grissom could come back in and they sat hand in hand for a while before Grissom broke the silence.

"Sofia is critical honey, they don't know if they can save her yet but they are trying everything they can. Her mother is outside and would like to see you, and I think it's probably a good idea. If they can save Sofia, and she'll be more than likely in a coma for a while, the news of her being your bridesmaid might help."

Sara felt bad, felt it was her fault, new demons were poking their heads up, guilt being a major factor.

"I don't know Gil, how can I face her knowing it was my fault that she could die."

Another voice broke into the conversation. "That's easy Sara, it wasn't your fault, and Sofia would not blame you in the slightest. She had him in her sights but he reacted faster and she forgot the cardinal rule in police work. "DUCK". From what I hear she would be so happy to be at your wedding, let alone be a bridesmaid, so you see you have nothing to be guilty about, time to get on with our lives just as Sofia will when they have finished with her and she'll be fine. I know this because I'm her mother."

Sara was dumbstruck, Captain Curtis was saying that everything would be alright, not blaming her for something she had no control over. It made sense to her but didn't lessen the guilt factor much.

"Excuse me Sara, Sofia is coming out of surgery and I have to be there."

"Captain Curtis? Thank you."

"Anytime my dear, you just get better."

Captain Curtis left to go and see her daughter, Sofia, who was now out of surgery and in ICU, looking very pale and as predicted in a coma. There was nothing her mother could do except talk to her and tell her about being wanted as a bridesmaid, doing well in her job and other daily duties and useless information. Hopefully Sofia would hear all this and try and come back.

Her summation of injury was fairly simple, a bullet into the right lung, breaking an intercostal rib, penetrating the same muscle and exiting the lung and breaking the rear of the rib. Being as the combination of rib, lung and muscle damage made voluntary respiration almost impossible, Sofia was on a ventilator until her muscles and lung healed.

Time passed slowly for everyone, Sara had to stay in hospital for a week to make sure everything worked properly then she was released, free to go on her six months vacation with Gil. But she delayed her departure so as to check once more on Sofia.

Sofia was now out of her coma, but still on a ventilator to breathe for her. She tried in vain to smile when Sara came in but it didn't quite work. She had a pen and paper for communication and slowly she began to write.

'Nice to see you safe Sara, and yes I'd love to be your bridesmaid, thank you. Enjoy your vacation and please come back to us renewed and revitalized. We do need you, we are a family, always.'

"Thanks Sofia, Gil and I will be back in six months, so it gives you plenty of time to get better. I'll think of you when I'm surfing every day, thank you for my life. Goodbye for now or better still, not goodbye, just 'see you soon'.

They knew they were doing the right thing for the right reasons, but leaving still didn't sit well upon them. Sure they would be coming back and the time away would heal both of them, but Sara still felt as though she was deserting her friends, leaving the shift shorthanded. Their luggage was packed ready to go, the flight booking was made, including one for Hank and all that was left was to head home and leave Vegas for six months.

Sara left and with a small tear running down her face, she and Gil headed towards home, their luggage and the airport. Hankwas firmly ensconced in a cage in the plane as it raced down the runway and banked towards San Francisco, only 2 hours away.

On arrival everything seemed to happen quickly, Gil rented an SUV, loaded the luggage, Hank and Sara and headed off to meet Sara's mother who was now expecting them and looking forward to meeting her prospective son-in-law.

Sara had not seen her mother in ten years, although they had spoken often over the phone, and Laura was understandably excited yet unsure how it would all work out. A lot of damage had been done in the past to Sara's psyche, and it was time that was repaired and some love was shown to her only daughter. Love that was never allowed in the Sidle household due to the father, now it was allowed and above all mandatory.

At first glance, Gil noticed the remarkable likeness between mother and daughter, Laura was understandably greyer now but her eyes held that same passion that Sara had. He noticed how the lines on her face had been gained through years of living with an abusive husband, the fire put out and only recently been re ignited.

"Sara, Mr Grissom, so nice of you to come, I had expected you last week but I guess something more important came up." She frowned a little as she hadn't heard the whole story, only snippets picked up from the news and an abbreviated phone call from Sara.

"Mom, I couldn't leave without knowing that Sofia was safe and awake, she's been through hell and she saved my life, well one of the four who saved my life anyway. And this is Gil, my fiancé, your new son in law to be. So please be nice to him."

"Sara honey, I am thrilled that you finally got your man, after nine years. As for you Gil Grissom, I expect you to treat my little girl with respect and love always, is that understood?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Good, now welcome to the family, and call me Laura, you must be tired and hungry, so food first eh? Now Sara that can't be your stomach growling can it?"

"Umm no mom, that's Hank, he's hungry too."

"Who is Hank, another boyfriend?"

"Oh yes, he's the only other man in my life, and you'll love him, I'll bring him in."

Laura was stunned, she had never imagined a dog and she was having all sorts of weird thoughts about another man in her life, but when Hank bounded into the house and licked her hand, she melted and got out a large steak for him.

"I can assume that Hank isn't a vegetarian Sara?"

"Oh no, he eats anything, shoes, socks, meat, bones, vegetables. But he's loyal to a fault and once he loves you, he'll defend you to the death. And he's just so cute, I'm going to teach him to surf, or at least try to."

"Ok Sara, I don't know exactly what happened in Vegas these past weeks, but why wasn't Hank defending you instead of four cops?"

"I didn't want Hank to interrupt this guy mom, we had to catch him red handed and besides he would have shot Hank, like he did Sofia."

"Red handed? Does that mean you were bait?" Laura looked past Sara's emotions for the time being and saw her daughter, saw the scar on her neck from the rope burn. Laura sent a frown of disapproval at Grissom, unseen by Sara.

"Sara Sidle, bedroom now, excuse me Gil I have to do this." Grissom looked on worriedly, he didn't know what 'this' was. He was hoping that Laura wasn't out to harm Sara as she had in the past, but he had to wait and see. Sara had not looked comfortable at her mother's command.

**A/N Now comes the Sara/Laura confrontation, what will happen, any ideas? For the action fans it's probably blah blah now, but for GSR fans, it will be a fairytale eventually.**

**TBC**

**I hope you are enjoying this story, reviews are appreciated. **


	7. Chapter 7

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Thanks to all my reviewers, really appreciated.

Chapter 7

Sara went into the bedroom and sat on the bed and waited, memories came flooding back of the beatings.

"Mom now is not a good time to do this."

"Silence Sara, now show me, I want to know what my daughter suffered, I need to know how I can help you. I was a vile mother when you were little, please let me be a loving mother to you now, I'm begging you Sara, please?"

Sara meekly stripped off and showed her mother the rope burns on her ankles, wrists and neck, the purple bruising on her rib cage then a tear fell from her eyes. One tear opened the flood gates for more tears to fall and Laura was there to hug her only daughter. It was something she should have done years ago but only now was she allowed to do so. Laura held her daughter until she fell into an exhausted sleep.

A knock came from the door, it was Gil, checking to make sure everything was alright.

"Come in Gil, she'll be alright soon, has she cried like this since it happened?"

"No Laura she hasn't, I think you are what she needed, she needed her mom, and still does. She does love me and we will get married, but every girl needs to turn to their mother in a crisis. Let her sleep now and we'll talk."

Gil and Laura talked long into the evening, about Sara's letter, about everything that had happened, burning out, running away, burying old ghosts, the incident at Berkeley, and above all how Laura could help. Sara had questions about her childhood, painful ones that had to be explained now she was an adult. Why Laura killed her father, why she hadn't just taken the children and run away. All of that had to come out and breathe once more. It meant more heartache for both mother and daughter but could effectively cancel out any repercussions.

"I guess it's time to air all the Sidle dirty laundry once more eh Gil? Do you think she will listen to the story now?"

"I will if you promise me only the truth mom and I guess it's time to hear you out. Now that I'm an adult and can better understand what happened, it might make it easier, hopefully not harder." Both Grissom and Laura turned to see Sara standing in the doorway, her eyes still a little red but her face indicated that she looked rested.

"Very well then, first of all we have some nice hot coffee, then we'll talk."

When coffee was served, they all sat down, Hank at Sara's feet, and Laura began her story, starting from when she first met Sara's father.

"He was charming, a wonderful man at first, a good job, a great lover and he asked me to marry him. How could I refuse? It was the beginning of the sixties and we so wanted to be hippies, but your dad's job prevented that, he had a government job, quite secure too, and he never drank or smoked."

"His brother was a hippie, and took your dad out one night for a few drinks with friends, got your dad drunk and high on dope, it wasn't illegal back then. It was frowned upon however, and your dad got caught for being drunk at work, and also high and he was fired. Oh they paid him out to sweep it under the rug, so we bought this B&B on the beach. Then your brother was born, your dad was still happy, the place was always fully booked but he did start having more to drink, while I put enough money away to pay for your brother's food and education."

Sara looked stunned, all of this background was new to her, and it explained a few things, her father was started on a vicious cycle because of his brother, and it was all an accident.

"The day you arrived Sara I was so happy, I'd always wanted a little girl, now I had one, but there we found there was a problem. We were having financial problems, your dad was drinking away the profits, coming home drunk because there wasn't enough money, even though it was he himself causing the problem. He would never hit me at first, he'd verbally abuse me, spit on me, stuff like that, demeaning stuff. I stood it because we had no where else to go. Then he started hitting me one day, it was the day I burnt his dinner because he was late home. Always I had to feed him first, then he insisted that I eat, then feed you two."

Laura paused in her story to get more coffee, but Sara could see tears fall and went to help her.

"It's going to be ok mom, I'm listening, it maybe hard but it has to be said, the good and the bad, we are together now and I'm not afraid anymore."

Laura sat down again and continued the story.

"We carried on as best we could, occasionally he wouldn't get drunk, sometimes he was even sweet and romantic, but you were far too young to remember that. But then he'd start up again, I even packed the car one night and had you two in the car ready to go and he dragged me out of the car by my hair and I didn't wake up until morning due to the beating he gave me. You two had been left in the car all night. Anyway this went on for years, and as you may remember I started drinking a fair bit too, mainly to ease the pain from the beatings he gave me. I was seriously on the point of suicide for while, but I couldn't just abandon you two kids. The rest you know, except the reason why I killed him. Your brother was better off than you Sara, he was stronger and tried to defend us until one night he ran away from home, he was 14 then and you were only 9.

Your father didn't like the idea of his only son being a runaway and blamed me, said he was going to kill me for making him run away. That night your dad almost did kill me, he'd broken several of my ribs, one wrist and just kept using me as a punching bag. I knew then that this had to end in one of us dead, and I swore it wouldn't be me, that I'd keep you safe from him. So since we were fighting in the kitchen I grabbed the nearest weapon I could, the knife. God knows Sara, I didn't want to kill him, he was my husband, lover, father of my children. I loved him, but not what he'd become. To save us I stabbed him until he was dead. What happened after that is hazy, but you had a chance to grow up strong, and you did, I'm so proud of you Sara."

Sara and her mother were both crying now, a new understanding was between them, the mother's love had always been there, never wavering for a moment, even unto killing to save her daughter.

"Just remember one thing Sara, he was a loving man, and originally a good and caring father, his brother and friends did for him and destroyed our family. Remember your father with love, I always do, I still miss him."

Grissom quietly got up and took Hank for a walk and left the two women alone to catch up on the lost years, on reflection he was glad he had come with Sara, she would have needed the moral support initially and now another ghost was buried, perhaps tomorrow they would visit her father's grave to say goodbye properly.

Now as a family they did visit Mr Sidle's grave and both women wept and placed flowers on the grave while Grissom stood watch with Hank. Another man was standing by a nearby tree and Hank growled a warning.

Laura stood up and turned to see Sara's Uncle Bill.

"This was all your fault Bill, Sara knows the truth now, so you can stop communicating with this family, you took away her father, now go away."

"You have a lot of spunk Laura, where did that come from, I thought my brother beat that out of you years ago."

Sara flashed a death glare at her Uncle Bill. "Leave while you still can Bill, and leave this family alone."

"Ah little Sara, all grown up, who's the old guy with the dog, your sugar daddy?"

"My fiancé if you must know Bill, now unless you want to be dog meat I suggest you leave."

"Feisty, just like your mother, nice seeing you again Sara, have a nice life and for the record, I am sorry about your dad."

Bill left and Hank relaxed again, and once more the Grissom/Sidle family group climbed into the SUV and decided the beach would be good, Sara needed to feel the surf beneath her board again, to feel free and relaxed.

**A/N I'd thought about having an awful confrontation with Laura, but it didn't fit with where this story was heading. Since there is no official background on Sara's father, I hope no one will mind me taking liberties. I like to see the best in people.**

**TBC**

**I hope you are enjoying this story, reviews are appreciated. **


	8. Chapter 8

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Thanks to all my reviewers, you are all equally loved and appreciated.

Chapter 8

Over the first three months Sara surfed, swam in the cool waters of the Pacific Ocean with Gil and Hank, found an inner peace and her nightmares seemed to disappear. She still had the occasional one or two, mostly from being under that car, something she had never explained to her mother and perhaps now was the time to explain all of that. Her mother had explained every detail of her childhood, now it was time for Sara to share all of her experiences with her mother, to finish making the peace between them.

"Mom, you and I need to have another talk, this time I have things to tell you, things I should have told you earlier but couldn't. About some of the damage done to me after I was forced to leave you all those years ago."

"Sounds awfully serious dear, are you sure you want to talk about it?"

"I have to mom, or I'll never get these ghosts buried totally, there were times when I needed you and didn't have you to go to, but I had Gil and the rest of my family in Vegas, that's what they became, my family."

"I'm listening Sara, and don't sanitize anything for my benefit."

"Ok mom, well after you I rattled around in foster care for what seemed like forever, some were good, some were downright awful. The last family I was with was really nice, the Barretts up in San Francisco didn't treat me any differently than they did their own two daughters and we really got along well, but school was my thing. I can honestly say I was a straight A student all the way through until High School Graduation as Valedictorian and won a scholarship to Harvard. After that I did graduate work at Berkeley and that's where the story really begins.

You saw the marks when I first came, you even saw the small mark on my lower back, that was a memento of my first encounter with that maniac. He was studying medicine at Berkeley, and for some reason he became a serial killer, attacking women, tying them up in such a way that they'd strangle themselves after he'd raped them. He would then do an autopsy on them, but always he'd leave that mark. I was his fourth victim, but he failed to restrain me and I escaped with little more than my life, but I'd blanked it all out of my mind until recently."

Laura's expression was of stunned disbelief and horror, she knew it was true but she didn't want to think of her baby going through that without her.

"I met Gil at a Forensics Seminar at Berkeley, at the same time I had a job in the SF coroner's office and I decided to pursue becoming a CSI. Eventually Gil called me out to Vegas to investigate one of my now 'family'. It was a hostile reception at first, but I did my job, everything was smoothed over and I stayed and joined the team and became part of them. A few years later we had a case in a Sanitarium and my intense concentration nearly cost me dearly, an inmate nearly killed me with a pottery shard, he ended up cutting his own throat but survived. Then it all came down to one person, Natalie Davis, I'm sure it made the news even out here. The Miniature Killer case."

"Oh yes, the neighbours and I read about it, we all had theories about it, I was the closest though, with that much detail, it had to be a female. I reasoned that no male would look so painstakingly at something like even getting drapes and wallpapering correct, let alone the entire room."

"Wish we'd had you with us then mom, you were right, anyway we ended up tracking down this foster kid, Natalie Davis, initially she killed when affected by the sight of bleach, but in our case it was different. Her foster father killed himself because of what she'd done, she blamed Gil, so she was going to take away the one thing he loved, namely me."

"That is so sad, but at least you are safe now."

"Oh that's not quite the end of it mom, she kidnapped me and left me pinned under a car in the desert. That night it rained and we got more rain that night than in the entire history of Vegas. I got out with the help of a car mirror, breaking my left arm and just pulling hard. I nearly drowned. Then spent the rest of the night and the entire day trying to find my way back to Vegas, I was lost in the desert until Nick and Sofia found me. I remember waking up in the helicopter with Gil holding my hand, then nothing until the hospital. Natalie was locked up and I was just about exhausted with life. Then I decided to leave after another hard case, wrote Gil a letter, kissed him and left.

Thankfully he came after me. Then this creep turned up, the one from Berkeley, so we set him up, but he very nearly succeeded in killing me. According to the doctors I was dead for ten minutes while Catherine did CPR on me. Sofia was shot and Roger Meadows killed by another detective. After some time in hospital I was allowed to leave but I had to make sure Sofia would be alright, thankfully she was and I'm waiting on an update on her condition."

"That's my life until now, with one exception, would you come back with us, to Vegas and be at our wedding mom?"

"My poor baby girl, all that pain and suffering, I wish I could change it, but yes I'd love to be there, who is going to give you away though?"

"James Brass, he's the Captain of homicide, thinks of me as a daughter and I want him…..oh hell I haven't asked him. Gil Grissom get your ass in here now please dear."

"What's wrong honey?"

"Can you get Jim on the phone for me please, I forgot to ask him if he'd give me away at the wedding."

"Ah, right, give me a minute."

Gil went off to phone Brass, while Laura Sidle sat there laughing, her baby girl, the fearless, dogmatic Sara Sidle, could take on the toughest bad guys and forget to ask someone to give her away at her own wedding. Once Sara realized the silliness of the situation she sat and laughed as well. A burden had been lifted from her shoulders, a burden that only a mother, a real loving mother, can help with. Sara had been missing a mother for so long, she now wondered how she had managed.

Sara ran out to the phone when Gil called and chatted with Jim for a bit. "I'm sorry Jim, I meant to ask you before we left, but I was worried about Sofia and getting everything arranged, even Gil and I had discussed it, I guess the discussion disguised the fact that I'd forgotten to ask you. You'll do it? Thanks Jim, oh and by the way, stop laughing. My mom's coming back with us, yeah you'll love her, trust me."

Sara had run into town for groceries the next morning and Laura sat beside Gil and simply talked.

"What is going through your mind Gil, you seem worried about something."

"I am worried Laura, at this, you and her, all friends again, mother and daughter. Don't get me wrong, I think it's wonderful that she's reconnecting, learning the real reasons, talking everything out with you the way a daughter should, but I'll only say this once, and when she's not here. Hurt her again Laura Sidle, and you'll answer to me, is that understood?"

"I hear you Gil, and I'm glad you said that, I now know you care very much for my daughter, and I'll give you the same warning just so that we are clear on that. But it's not entirely that is it?"

"I think she's getting back to her old self, I just hope it's not too quickly, I don't want her coming back and finding she can't handle it, burning herself out and crashing down in flames."

"Do you think that's likely Gil, she can always come home for a while if she gets bad, let her have some off time here by the sea. She has always found it a great calmative, even when she was little, first I knew she was surfing was when I saw her on an old plank attempting to ride the waves. Scared the living daylights out of me that did, I knew she could swim but I never guessed she'd be one for surfing. One of the locals loaned her a board and she was a natural. What her father didn't know was that I had seen the board she liked and secretly bought it for her, the guy in the shop looked after it for her and she never really knew why she was the only one to ride it. She even had to learn how to look after it, I think she may have figured it out, but I was never sure."

A voice spoke suddenly from the doorway.

"No mom, I never did figure that out, I thought he was just encouraging me, and he was, but I never knew it was my board, it wasn't as though it had my name on it."

**A****/N I don't even know if it's possible to ride a plank in surf, but then if you are little you tend to try anything once.**

**I know some of this is all rehashed previous episode summaries etc, but considering Laura probably never knew any of it. It was time to fill her in.**

**TBC**

**I hope you are enjoying this story, reviews are appreciated. **


	9. Chapter 9

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Thanks to all my reviewers, you are all equally loved and appreciated.

Chapter 9

"It did have your name on it Sara, on one side of the fin, you just don't see that side when you are riding it, if you don't believe me, go and have a look, Mark still has his shop, and your board."

Sara couldn't believe her eyes when she saw Mark again, he looked so much older yet still the surfer boy inside, and there hung on a wall was her board, too small for her now, but still hers.

"Guess your mom sent you finally eh Sara. Man you are looking good, hot too, busy tonight?" Mark laughed, he wasn't serious but loved flirting anyway.

"Sorry Mark, I'm engaged to this hunk of a guy, the one outside with the dog. I came to see my board, mom said it had my name on it, and I never saw it."

"Yeah she insisted that when she bought it, your name had to be on it, as it was an extension of you and deserved the same name, here let me show you."

Mark pulled the board off the wall and there sitting proudly on the fin was a small name 'Sara Sidle', it was painted in gold and the years hadn't washed it off.

"Lots of people ask me why that board is up there, as I do have some boards signed by celebrities, but nobody comes close to the reason. Laura wanted it there, safe and looked after until you came home again, or until you had outgrown it. You've definitely outgrown it, guess now I'll have to take it down."

"No Mark, leave it there, I'll be back this way again and I'd like to see it on the wall, keep it as a reminder that out of evil cometh good. But now I need more than a loaner, I have been doing some surfing locally with loan boards, but nothing feels right, I need a board with feeling."

"I have just the thing for you Sara. A Bessel board, made in San Diego, he makes custom boards as well but one call and he did me a special. And yes it has your name on it."

Instead of having her name on the fin, this time under the Bessel trade name, was a script of **SARA **in old English text, it looked grand and it brought tears to her eyes.

"How did you know Mark?"

"Well let's see, you've been here three months and I've been spoken to by your mother, she an angel by the way, and she ordered and paid for it. Now you'll ask where did she get the money for it I suppose, well I can tell you it was legal, actually that's exactly what it was."

Sara was now confused, her mother got money legally? But really legally? What the hell was that supposed to mean. Time to talk to mom again.

"Mom, thank you, the board is lovely, but how could you afford it, I mean this place doesn't bring in that much surely?"

"Damn, I knew you'd find out eventually, guess I'd better tell you before you go fishing. Before being released from jail, I met someone, a lawyer, who gave me an idea. Things have changed in twenty or so years. When I was finally released I filed a lawsuit for wrongful conviction, that it was self defence not murder. Everything stood up in court, and I won, I couldn't get back all those years I'd lost, but I made damn sure the state paid for the mistake. I didn't want to tell you in case you got the wrong impression of me. But I did my time for defending myself, now the state pays me for it's mistake. Don't think ill of me Sara, please."

"No mom I don't, just surprised that's all, thanks for the new board."

"My pleasure darling, now how about some food, you have to be hungry, I'll whip up something nice, and yes I know, no meat, but Gil might enjoy something with meat in it and I know Hank will enjoy a nice bone I have for him."

They all ate in a homely silence, talking was done for now, the time had come for old memories to be put to rest, and new ones made. Sara's entire future lay ahead, with Gil, her mother and one more thing they had to do before going back.

"Gil we really should go and see your mother as well, I'm sure she'd like to see her son get married, and if I know Catherine, she will pull out all the stops on this one."

"You need to brush up on your sign language honey, and Laura, perhaps you might like to learn as well, my mother is deaf. She can be a bit cautious around other people, and very possessive of me and definitely has to approve of anyone I am interested in. She has this weird notion that I should have married the daughter of a friend of hers, who is also deaf, but a marriage without love is meaningless, and I didn't love her, not like I love Sara."

Sara grinned, but inside she was nervous, would Gil's mother even like her? Accept her? Would she judge her too young for her son, too inappropriate? '_Stop thinking negative Sidle, this is all about positive thinking.'_

"Well Gil, if my mother approves of you, then surely your mother would approve of me, at least I have to try and prove myself to her. "

"Fine then, we'll head off on Monday, do you want to come Laura?"

"Umm, no perhaps it's better if you two go on ahead, trust me it'll work better this way, especially if your mom reads newspapers, I don't want Sara to be judged on me."

Monday came all too quickly and they flew out to see Gil's mother, Betty. Sara was getting increasingly nervous, and Hank wasn't enjoying flying either, however he could see how much better his mom and dad were, that made him feel better.

The first meeting between Betty and Sara was met with a cordial welcome, but Mrs Grissom wasn't one to be taken in by anyone's charms, it took time, and Sara's sign language did help, although she did make a few mistakes. Betty was the one to first voice her concerns and Gil sat quietly angry with his mother.

"You seem nice enough Sara, although perhaps a little young for Gil. I had wanted him to marry someone else, but he never listens to a word I say and insists that he'll stay a batchelor until the right woman comes along to melt his heart. Are you that woman?"

"Yes Mrs Grissom I am, without a shadow of a doubt, I love Gil with every fibre of my being, we trust each other with our lives on a daily basis and we have lived and learned a lot from each other over the years. We broke down each other's walls and found our inner selves, the ones we had been hiding from the world."

"Grandiose speech my dear, you sound sincere enough, but what about when Gil is an old man, will you leave him then for a younger model?"

"Replace Gil Grissom? That is a physical impossibility, they broke the mold when he was born, you gave birth to someone unique Mrs Grissom, someone truly caring, loving and who would go that extra mile if he thought it necessary. There is no one who could replace him, no one even comes close to him, I want him and only him as my husband, forever. That is why we came here, to ask your permission for me to marry your son, and if you say yes, to invite you to the wedding in Vegas."

"What if I don't approve of you Sara? What if I say no to your request?"

"Then I'd say 'Let me prove myself somehow', only how can I do that to your satisfaction, how do I prove that I deserve your approval, tell me how and I'll do it." Sara was on the verge of tears now.

"You sound serious Sara, I can't tell you how to prove yourself to me because you just did. Yes Sara, if Gil truly loves you and you love him, then you have my permission and I would love to come to Vegas for your wedding." Betty's heart softened upon seeing the first signs of distress in her future daughter-in-law's face, she wasn't a cruel woman, just a mother.

Sara decided to take Hank out for a walk while Gil talked with his mother, and silently a lot was said between them.

"Gil you know I wanted you to marry Julia, now you are engaged to this Sara woman, so much younger than you are too. Why Gil? Do you seriously love her that much?"

"Yes mom I do love her that much, and I was never in love with Julia, she hates bugs, hates everything I do, hates my career, and I'm sorry but I won't give that up, maybe I'll quit being a CSI, but never an entomologist. Besides when you are in love, age doesn't really matter."

Gil's mother hadn't finished yet though.

"Now you have a dog, a fiancée who doesn't eat meat, what will be next Gil, giving up the church as well?"

**A****/N Thankfully I got to see the episode The Two Mrs. Grissoms before I finished this part.**

**TBC**

**I hope you are enjoying this story, reviews are appreciated. **


	10. Chapter 10

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Thanks to all my reviewers, you are all equally loved and appreciated.

Betty Grissom having a heart to heart with her son, intermixed with some drama, then on with the main event.

Chapter 10

"Mom, please don't preach to me, I have my faith and my science, it is enough. As you are so fond of saying to me, I'm a big boy now and Sara makes my life complete, who knows maybe there'll be grandkids in it for you one day."

"Fair enough Gil, I just hope this Catherine person isn't doing all the planning for a drive through chapel in Vegas."

"It will be in Vegas, but if I know Catherine, it will be a splendid affair, she has the touch for fine details, she knows the basics of what we are after. The rest is up to her entirely."

"Then I shall be delighted to see you married at last Gil. Now one last thing, Sara's family background, I've heard nothing mentioned about it, Vegas native?"

"No she's originally from a small town near San Francisco."

"The name Sidle rings a bell, something was in the newspapers not so long ago, a Lauren, no Laura Sidle sued the state for a wrongful conviction I believe. Any relation?"

"Sara's mother, she won the case too, it's a long and old story, best left forgotten."

"Sara's mother is a killer? You are marrying the daughter of a murderer?"

"It was self defence mother, they didn't have battered wife syndrome back then, it was a case of either Laura and the kids being killed, or Laura defending herself and the kids. Laura won then but nobody seemed to notice the difference. End of this subject please mother and you will never mention this to Sara."

Betty Grissom got the idea that antagonizing her son was not a good idea and let the subject drop, she was going to Vegas for a wedding and she had things to do, clothes to choose, shopping to do.

At the end of the six months, both Sara and Gil returned to Las Vegas, rested, refreshed and happy within themselves. Sara smiled a lot more now and even returning to work couldn't wipe the smile off her face as she snapped shots of another dead body, the blood spatter, the murder weapon, all evidence in situ before being lifted. She sang a lot more around the lab too, she wasn't really conscious of doing it, she just did it.

One grueling case began with all hands on deck, prior to the wedding. The entire team cursing their bad luck that dayshift didn't get it.

An entire Asian family, husband, wife and three young children, were murdered in their own home in Summerlin. When the call came in for all hands, Grissom worried. On entering the scene, Brass gave him a brief rundown on what to expect inside, although judging by the way some young cops were puking out on the street it was a dead giveaway. Brass gave Grissom the heads up on the children, to keep Sara and Catherine downstairs and away from what they most hated.

"Sara, I want you and Catherine to process downstairs whilst Nick, Greg and myself take the upstairs, Warrick, take the perimeter. This has to be done right the first time or we'll have more than the Sherriff on our backs."

"Cath you want to collect and I'll photograph?"

"Yeah, no problem, funny isn't it, we usually get the upstairs and the sensitive areas like bedrooms. Still I'm not complaining, as it is the walls look like they've been painted in blood. Look at all that cast off, there had to have been more than one weapon in this and probably more than one perp."

"I don't get it Cath. Who would want to kill a lovely family in a good neighborhood? Ok silly question, it has happened before but I'll never understand the 'why' in all of this."

As engaged as they were with processing the scene, with the boys upstairs and the girls busily engaged downstairs, no one noticed the media circus building up outside. The crowd had also grown and the police on duty were having difficulty in keeping them all back away from the scene. One man managed to slip past, running full tilt towards the front door, then entering it.

"Cath, I have boot prints, men's size 12, and some dirt, I'll bag it."

Sara got those words out and then felt herself roughly thrown across the room, as though tackled by a line backer. She landed awkwardly on a glass topped coffee table that shattered under the impact. She felt each shard that cut her, the biggest penetrating deeply into her back. Her attacker only then pausing in his headlong charge to start ranting.

"What have you done to my family? Where are they all? Why are you in my house? WHO ARE YOU?"

Catherine had recovered from the initial shock of the intruder and had her gun out, trained on him. "I don't know who you are Mister, but you just contaminated a crime scene. BRASS get in here, and bring a medic with you."

Brass ran in with two uniforms and arrested the intruder for assaulting Sara and Cath turned to Sara who was still lying on the floor/coffee table in obvious pain.

"Sara, where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere Cath, I think I'm bleeding on our crime scene." Sara tried to sound annoyed more than in pain but her expression wasn't saying that, she was in obvious pain.

Medics rushed in to help Sara as Grissom came downstairs to find out what all the noise was. He was mortified to see his fiancée being attended to by paramedics in what should have been a secure scene. Once the medics had managed to move Sara and get at her back they found numerous glass fragments embedded in her back, the biggest one they refused to remove. Her head was also pounding from hitting the floor hard.

"What the hell happened? Sara are you alright?"

"I'm fine Gil, it's just a scratch and bump on the head, no big deal. We have a scene to process so just let them help me up and get to work."

Catherine had taken time to photograph Sara wounds and later would take pictures of the bruising but Sara wasn't accepting that it was more than a scratch.

"This is your scratch Sara, have a good look." Sara looked and suddenly felt the pain in her back increase.

"Get this fixed at the hospital Sara and I'll be along shortly, I promise. As soon as I find out what's going on here."

Apart from having this major case to solve he also had his prospective wife laid up in hospital with the wedding roughly a week away. Laura Sidle and Betty Grissom were flying into McCarran tomorrow and would have to be picked up at the airport. He sighed. What else could possibly go wrong?

Sara, as usual, was a difficult patient in hospital basically because she hated them. Along with the coffee table, she felt as though her dreams had been shattered. Her dream of marrying Gil Grissom in a lovely wedding planned by Catherine. Unbeknownst to her Catherine had set in motion a devious plan, postponing the wedding for a week at least, ensuring Sara's family was always in close proximity to help out and above all making sure Grissom stayed by her side. She had also picked up Laura Sidle and Betty Grissom from the airport, had them comfortably settled in their hotel rooms prior to informing them of the slight change in plans. Laura was most upset upon hearing that her daughter was injured, but both Betty and Catherine reassured her.

The broken glass hadn't done much damage, the deepest piece only requiring minor surgery to stitch things back together and doctors orders strict bed rest for at least a week. They were all informed of her up coming wedding and it seemed the best way to get her to comply. The only problem now was that she was bored and frustrated and made sure Grissom knew it when he came home that night.

"Gil, come clean with me, what's happening with the case and the guy who attacked me?"

"You are that bored eh? Ok well Nick and Warrick have closed the case. Four men of asian descent knew of the good doctor and went after his family so that he would supply them with drugs and money, which he seemed reluctant to do. So in essence, they killed him for nothing."

"Damn Gil, that simply isn't right but then that's part of this life isn't it?"

"Yes, but that's not all that's bothering you is it honey?"

"Am I that obvious? Dammit Gil, you know why, I'm so frustrated right now when all I want is for you to come and…"

He silenced her with one finger on her lips, which she duly started sucking lightly on.

"I suspect your doctor and Catherine had a hand in your enforced bed rest, one to get you better and the other to uphold a tradition of 'no sex before marriage'."

"I'll kill them both, after we are married dear."

"I'll help you hide the bodies honey, because believe me there is only one thing I want to do with you right now, but it's on the doctor's 'what not to do' list. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a cold shower awaiting me."

The week that followed consisted of almost total bed rest for Sara and more cold showers for Grissom. She healed well and the bandage that covered her stitches was reduced to a small patch, easily hidden under the wedding gown. Things were now full steam ahead for the wedding, the bride now being healthy enough to participate in it.

The plans for the wedding were progressing wonderfully well, a secluded church near Lake Mead had been selected for the ceremony, surrounded by old growth trees and a small graveyard, fitting for who was getting married. The reception was to be held in the large private function area of Sam Braun's casino and a cavalcade of limousines were also provided for everyone's transportation to and from Lake Mead. One white limousine set aside for the happy couple, the rest all black.

Catherine had surpassed herself with Sara's floor length wedding gown, it was an off the shoulder ivory lace and royal satin with delicate crystal beading. It was worn with crystal beaded silver 4in heel shoes. The maid of honor and bridesmaid both wore vintage merlot coloured single shoulder taffeta floor length gowns with matching shoes. Sofia looked elegant and moreover, healthy again. Catherine was looking like a total dream come true, turning heads. The men all wore black tuxedos with vintage merlot cummerbunds and bow ties, Grissom of course was unable to tie his and received help from the others.

**A****/N All the world's a stage, and we are merely the players. Thus are the players getting to the good bit.**

**TBC**

**I hope you are enjoying this story, reviews are appreciated. **


	11. Chapter 11

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Thanks to all my reviewers, you are all equally loved and appreciated.

Now for the part you have all been waiting for (sorry no smut in this story as I wanted to keep it K rated)

Chapter 11

The church was adorned with flowers and there was little available space left for onlookers inside, it was a 'sellout' crowd inside. When the white limousine pulled up out the front Gil began to fidget, he wished he'd had a whisky before the ceremony. Sara looked gorgeous, and Jim looked very handsome as well, and everyone walked up the aisle to take their allotted places.

The priest began to speak and Gil and Sara listened for their spots to jump in, the vows almost getting in the way of a good kissing session.

"Gil Grissom, do you take Sara Sidle to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to protect her against all evils, to love only her, cherish her, and above all give yourself only unto her until death do you part?"

"I do."

"Do you Sara Sidle, take this man Gil Grissom, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to protect and love, cherish him and give yourself only unto him until death do you part?"

"I do."

"The rings please."

"I Gil Grissom, give my pledge to you Sara Sidle, that forever more we shall live in harmony, sharing our lives in good and bad times, and always listening to each other. _Grow old with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which, the first is made.__ For I love you and no one else_."

"I Sara Sidle, give you my solemn pledge Gil Grissom, to live together in harmony, sharing the good and bad, talking when times get rough. _Know that you are my one and only__. I love you with every beat of my heart, I love you… I always will."_

"With the power invested in me by God and the state of Nevada, I declare you man and wife, you may kiss your bride."

Gil and Sara kissed as the church bells started ringing and everyone was applauding, but Sara noticed a tear in Gil's eye.

"What's wrong honey? Something I said?"

"Yes and no, just those words, they were in your letter to me originally, to think I could have lost you forever, I was so stupid."

"Yes you were Gil Grissom but now we have time to make up for that. I loved that Robert Browning quote too."

"Indeed Sara Sidle-Grissom. Your 'Sara' quote was rather good seen in the right context too." He grinned.

Rice and confetti rained down upon them as the were ushered into the white Limousine and everyone was driven back into Vegas to the reception. The bride and groom's car took the scenic route allowing all the guests to arrive first and be seated. Sam Braun had spared no expense on this function, his top chefs had done him proud, he'd even brought in a Master Vegetarian chef. The food was endless, and a great range too, even Sara was astonished at the vegetarian marvels like roasted eggplant stuffed with mushrooms, broccoli and cauliflower, surrounded by potatoes au gratin. Everyone ate heartily and then came the announcements from the best man.

"I have here a telegram from a few people who couldn't get here today, Horatio and Calleigh wishing you all the best and next time you are in Miami, they want to see the rings, and the happy couple.

Another here from Mac and Stella, and I'll quote this 'About time that bugman decided to make an honest woman out of her, no more hiding you two, come visit us some time' unquote. Guess you are required in New York as well Griss, I mean Mr and Mrs Griss."

"One more here from someone in California, says he knows you both from Berkeley. I'm sure you'll know who I mean when I read this out.

"No sooner met but they looked;  
No sooner looked but they loved;  
No sooner loved but they sighed;  
No sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason;  
No sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy;  
And in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage..." Shakespeare

Sara and Gil grinned knowingly at one another, it was from an English Professor friend of theirs, both knew him back in Sara's pre CSI days.

"There is a strange one here that I can't identify, but it says 'way to go Sara, bout time too, sorry couldn't be there, see you in the next life dearie' and it's signed Stacy. Any idea who that is Sara?"

"OMG, Stacy, I never got to see her, umm, excuse me a minute people, I'll be right back."

Sara dashed out of the room and grabbed her purse and cell, quickly dialed a number she knew by heart. A man's voice answered.

"Tom is that you? It's Sara."

"Thank God you called Sara, are you coming out?"

"I'm in the middle of my wedding reception Tom, how is Stacy?"

"Not good, I'll put her on."

"Sara? You said you were coming out, now I hear you are married?"

"Yeah I had a few problems crop up, then the shit hit the fan big time, I'm sorry Stacy, what did the doctors say?"

"Bah what do doctors know, I can tell you myself, it's hard to breathe, I can't think clearly, my heart rate is all over the place and my vitals are unstable, to be blunt, I won't see another sunrise."

"Apart from seeing my ugly face, what do you want most in the world right now?"

"I'd like to sit on the beach and die right there in Tom's arms, not in some stinking hospital bed."

"It shall be done, hold on a sec." Sara called out to Catherine. "Cath I have a big favour to ask your father, a friend of mine is dying in hospital, she won't see another sunrise, her last wish is to die in her husband's arms on the beach, watching the Pacific Ocean, can he help?"

"He'd better, or else, give me a moment to find out."

Catherine went out and spoke to Sam then came back. "All done, just give me the details."

"Stacy what room are you in, and what hospital, a white knight is arriving, sorry it can't be me, but tell Tom to pack a picnic."

"SF General, room 404, why? What's all this about a white knight?"

"Just do it Stacy, and remember I was always there for you in one way or another, as I am now. And Stacy, I'll miss you but I'll always light a candle for you on your birthday, love you."

Tom took over the phone. "Ummm Sara a chauffeur just rocked up in a limousine for us, I'll call you later, and thanks."

"Bye Tom, look after her."

Sara went back to the reception with tears in her eyes, and sent a silent nod of thanks to Sam, she would thank him personally later.

"I'll tell you later Gil, now on with the party everyone, sorry I was interrupted by a close friend."

The reception lasted until the small hours of the morning, with everyone chauffeur driven home, or staying in Sam's casino. Betty Grissom had met Laura Sidle and had reserved judgement at first, then finally decided that she liked her, both becoming firm friends and learning from each other about different aspects of life. Both had suffered on different levels, but that's what they had in common, and their offspring were now married to each other so they were technically related.

Sara had gone over to Sam Braun, clasped his hands in hers and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you Sam, for everything, and for helping Stacy fulfill her dying wish. I wish I knew how to repay you."

"You just did Sara, a kiss from the bride is all the thanks I need. It's nice to be a good guy sometimes."

**A****/N Never a dull moment with the Grissoms, hope you approved of the wedding vows. I also simply wanted to paint Sam Braun as a good guy for a change.**

**TBC**

**I hope you are enjoying this story, reviews are appreciated. **


	12. Chapter 12

**This Is Not Goodbye**

Disclaimer: The standard blah blah about not owning CSI etc.

Thanks to all my reviewers, you are all equally loved and appreciated.

Last chapter (I'll be slowing down my writing as I've just had shoulder surgery, I tore the tendon off the bone).

Chapter 12

The following morning the honeymoon began, all one week of it. It was spent in a cabin on the beach in Hawaii, surf, sand and walks in the forest. At least that had been the original plan. Neither of them got out of bed for the first days, with the exception of using the bathroom or ordering food. A newly married couple and now they could indulge in every sexual experience they'd ever wished for, no phones, no late night visitors, no being interrupted, they were in heaven for a week. The story of Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom had begun in tragedy at Berkeley, gone through the years, nearly ending in tragedy again, then finally admitting how they felt, Sara ran, only to find he ran after her. Now she was through running, now she was walking hand in hand with the man she loved, and he walked hand in hand with the woman he loved. Nothing would separate them now, nothing but death ever could.

As they rolled over and made love again that night there was only the simple passion involved, not an animalistic lust, they had reached their equilibrium with two days left on their honeymoon. Tomorrow was a nature walk, followed on the last day surfing and swimming.

A very peaceful week. Then Gil's phone rang, it was only to be used for emergencies, so what was so important now, if it was Ecklie, then Grissom would resign on the spot.

"Dr Grissom I presume? I'm Fred Harrows, Hawaii state police. Would you mind very much sir if we could have a word?"

"I'll be free this afternoon."

"Dr Grissom, now would be good since I'm outside your door."

Grissom , in his bathrobe, opened the door to find several police and a detective standing there.

"How may I help you gentlemen?"

"Sir we have a problem, a body has been found with considerable insect activity, and my boss asked for you, but then we discovered you were already here."

"Yes, on my honeymoon."

"Oh I'm so sorry Dr Grissom, but we are short in the CSI department, I have one on suspension, two others out on medical leave."

"I guess we could take a look, you have enough equipment for two?"

"Two Sir?"

"Yes two, my wife is a CSI level 3, let's get this over and done with quickly. Out of bed and get dressed honey, the Hawaii police need our help."

"Oh $%^&, on our honeymoon no less, still no rest for the wicked, let's do this and go home."

The body had been lying in the forest for only two days, but already they could see the basic COD, and Gil figured out the TOD by the insect activity. Sara diligently photographed the scene and inspected the area and body for trace and fibres.

"This isn't a body dump Grissom, he was shot here and left, he crawled about ten feet before he died. He has ligature marks on his wrists, suggesting he was tied up first, shipped here alive and then shot, but why untie him? Moreover the restraint marks closely resemble handcuff marks. I'd be suggesting check on any known arrests from his fingerprints and DNA, then work backwards."

Fred Harrows smiled appreciably, these two were good, very good. "I had the fingerprints run, he was Jason Bates, priors for burglary, assault and rape and he isn't a Hawaiian native, he's from Nebraska originally, then moved to Nevada, then here. There are no known live associates, only dead ones. No suspects either.

Sara went into the Hawaii Crime Lab and ran the few fibres she had, they came back as a match to something in the data base. It was shocking, but it made sense, all they needed now was a person to match it to.

"Fred, Gil, the fibres came back as a match to a police windbreaker, now we've done all we can do, the rest is really up to you guys. Find your man, check his windbreaker and cuffs, also his weapon and go from there. We are going home, feel free to let us know your results."

Sara and Gil literally boarded the first plane out of Hawaii and went home to Vegas, no one knew they were home yet, one day early, but that was alright, they had some time to themselves and Hank.

The Hawaii police had arrested one of their own for murder, tissue on his cuffs matched Jason Bates, his windbreaker was torn, and he finally confessed to ridding the world of a scumbag. His motive was not divulged and Sara and Gil didn't ask.

That night as they lay in bed, Gil had to ask the question he needed an answer to.

"Sara, have you buried your ghosts? Is there anything else you need to do, go anywhere, change anything? Or do your think you can come back to work? I am only asking because where you go, I go, if you really can't go back I'll understand."

"Gil, our time in Hawaii gave me some clarity, I love being with you, having you make love to me, but when the call came I was eager to get back in the saddle again. I think I missed it. My ghosts are gone, my fears are gone, I have my life back and am sharing it with the one I love. I'm ready to go back and if I feel it overpowering me again, I'll tell you and back off for a bit. Satisfied?"

"Only as long as you are honey, now come here and let me feel every inch of your body once more before work, I need to remember every laugh line on your face, every scar on your body, every freckle, every hair on your head. Everything that isn't seeable, I'll just feel around for."

That is what they did, all that last night, they groped and explored each other's bodies, made sweet passionate love for hours until they finally fell asleep exhausted. Tomorrow was work, tomorrow was another day, and they were no longer saying goodbye, but hello again Vegas!

THE END!

Hope you enjoyed it.

**A****/N When time permits I'll start on another story, hopefully a sequel to Dreams Can Come True.**

**TBC**

**I hope you are enjoying this story, reviews are appreciated. **


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